During the Christmas season, I find myself becoming nostalgic. Many times, this begins several weeks before and continues until well after Christmas ends. Remembering times from my childhood, people that have passed on, when my kids were little. I love seeing old decorations once again, hearing music, looking at photographs. I know that Christmas is over, but it seemed to go in a blur this year.
Now that things have slowed down a bit and everyone seems to be able to relax(knock on wood), the nostalgia has kicked back in. There are times I find myself putting my grandparents and great-grandparents names into the Google search bar just to see what I can find. I feel like I am trying to find them, like they have become lost. To find out things about them that I perhaps did not know. I was lucky enough to have known my great-grandparents. My great-grandmother passed away when I was almost twenty-seven. My oldest daughter was born on her birthday. She was one of the most beautiful people I have ever known. I still look for her.
I think in a way, I am looking for pieces of myself. I have found things about them all on-line. Very strange. And wonderful at the same time. I think, "Why didn't anyone tell me that?"-but in finding them, I find out more about me. The harder I look, the more I realize that I do not have to look far at all. They are always with me-guiding me, steering me in the right direction. Having a good laugh from time to time. They have never really left at all.
I think about them with fondness, although I wish I could have known them all as an adult-to ask advice, about their lives, their childhoods, what their families were like. Maybe one day, I will find out all of those answers, until then, I will be looking.
Now that things have slowed down a bit and everyone seems to be able to relax(knock on wood), the nostalgia has kicked back in. There are times I find myself putting my grandparents and great-grandparents names into the Google search bar just to see what I can find. I feel like I am trying to find them, like they have become lost. To find out things about them that I perhaps did not know. I was lucky enough to have known my great-grandparents. My great-grandmother passed away when I was almost twenty-seven. My oldest daughter was born on her birthday. She was one of the most beautiful people I have ever known. I still look for her.
I think in a way, I am looking for pieces of myself. I have found things about them all on-line. Very strange. And wonderful at the same time. I think, "Why didn't anyone tell me that?"-but in finding them, I find out more about me. The harder I look, the more I realize that I do not have to look far at all. They are always with me-guiding me, steering me in the right direction. Having a good laugh from time to time. They have never really left at all.
I think about them with fondness, although I wish I could have known them all as an adult-to ask advice, about their lives, their childhoods, what their families were like. Maybe one day, I will find out all of those answers, until then, I will be looking.
Great post. You offer great wisdom about appreciating each moment with the older generations of our families. It's wonderful that you are seeking them in any way you can--your life will be the much richer for it. Your post inspires me to do that as well for those before me...
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